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So today is my birthday...
Sep. 3rd, 2007 10:06 pm...but not a particularly happy one.
Don't get me wrong, there's been plenty of happy moments. I've had nice presents (a huge thank you to many of my friends, and to my wonderful girlfriend). I've been shopping and spent a large sum of money on books, which is always good. I started the day in bed with Helen and have returned to it once or twice since ;) I've even been offered a threesome at some point this week, amusingly with both of the other participants independently asking me within an hour of each other if I would like to try to set something up with the other person :) There has been a lot of Good Stuff today.
Still, I'm sad; that's my baseline state, and when there's nothing actively happening to cheer me up, I return to it.
I've been putting off writing any detail in my journal lately about what's going on in my life, which has tended to make the personal entries a bit cryptic and emo over the last month. I really don't like doing that - this is my journal, and if my head is a mess then this is exactly where I should be trying to write it all down and work it all out. However. Although this is my journal, and I should be able to write whatever I like about my personal life... there's the tricky issue of how much it's polite to write about other people's personal lives. When the other people are so completely integral to what's happening to your life, it can be impossible to write about the mess inside your own head without talking about their personal lives too.
I've decided over the last few days that I'm going to have to write about what's been happening lately, despite other people being heavily involved, because it's just been too important to me to leave it as a few cryptic posts and a succession of downbeat mood settings.
I'm going to give people made-up names to give some vague hint of politeness to the whole thing of discussing their personal lives, but they're going to be fairly obvious made-up names if you know the people involved. I'm sure all our mutual friends already know 3/4 of what's gone on anyway, and maybe it'll make a bit more sense if they have the other 1/4 to finish the picture. The rest of you can just read it for entertainment value, or because you care about the things that shape my life, or out of intense boredom :)
( So why are you such a miserable fucker on your birthday Denny? )
That slightly pathetic tale said and done... Helen has just got out of the bath, and we're going back to bed again now. To read our new books. Honest.
It's not all bad, this birthday. It's had its moments.
Just not that moment.
Don't get me wrong, there's been plenty of happy moments. I've had nice presents (a huge thank you to many of my friends, and to my wonderful girlfriend). I've been shopping and spent a large sum of money on books, which is always good. I started the day in bed with Helen and have returned to it once or twice since ;) I've even been offered a threesome at some point this week, amusingly with both of the other participants independently asking me within an hour of each other if I would like to try to set something up with the other person :) There has been a lot of Good Stuff today.
Still, I'm sad; that's my baseline state, and when there's nothing actively happening to cheer me up, I return to it.
I've been putting off writing any detail in my journal lately about what's going on in my life, which has tended to make the personal entries a bit cryptic and emo over the last month. I really don't like doing that - this is my journal, and if my head is a mess then this is exactly where I should be trying to write it all down and work it all out. However. Although this is my journal, and I should be able to write whatever I like about my personal life... there's the tricky issue of how much it's polite to write about other people's personal lives. When the other people are so completely integral to what's happening to your life, it can be impossible to write about the mess inside your own head without talking about their personal lives too.
I've decided over the last few days that I'm going to have to write about what's been happening lately, despite other people being heavily involved, because it's just been too important to me to leave it as a few cryptic posts and a succession of downbeat mood settings.
I'm going to give people made-up names to give some vague hint of politeness to the whole thing of discussing their personal lives, but they're going to be fairly obvious made-up names if you know the people involved. I'm sure all our mutual friends already know 3/4 of what's gone on anyway, and maybe it'll make a bit more sense if they have the other 1/4 to finish the picture. The rest of you can just read it for entertainment value, or because you care about the things that shape my life, or out of intense boredom :)
( So why are you such a miserable fucker on your birthday Denny? )
That slightly pathetic tale said and done... Helen has just got out of the bath, and we're going back to bed again now. To read our new books. Honest.
It's not all bad, this birthday. It's had its moments.
Just not that moment.
