denny: (Unhappy Star)
...but not a particularly happy one.

Don't get me wrong, there's been plenty of happy moments. I've had nice presents (a huge thank you to many of my friends, and to my wonderful girlfriend). I've been shopping and spent a large sum of money on books, which is always good. I started the day in bed with Helen and have returned to it once or twice since ;) I've even been offered a threesome at some point this week, amusingly with both of the other participants independently asking me within an hour of each other if I would like to try to set something up with the other person :) There has been a lot of Good Stuff today.

Still, I'm sad; that's my baseline state, and when there's nothing actively happening to cheer me up, I return to it.

I've been putting off writing any detail in my journal lately about what's going on in my life, which has tended to make the personal entries a bit cryptic and emo over the last month. I really don't like doing that - this is my journal, and if my head is a mess then this is exactly where I should be trying to write it all down and work it all out. However. Although this is my journal, and I should be able to write whatever I like about my personal life... there's the tricky issue of how much it's polite to write about other people's personal lives. When the other people are so completely integral to what's happening to your life, it can be impossible to write about the mess inside your own head without talking about their personal lives too.

I've decided over the last few days that I'm going to have to write about what's been happening lately, despite other people being heavily involved, because it's just been too important to me to leave it as a few cryptic posts and a succession of downbeat mood settings.

I'm going to give people made-up names to give some vague hint of politeness to the whole thing of discussing their personal lives, but they're going to be fairly obvious made-up names if you know the people involved. I'm sure all our mutual friends already know 3/4 of what's gone on anyway, and maybe it'll make a bit more sense if they have the other 1/4 to finish the picture. The rest of you can just read it for entertainment value, or because you care about the things that shape my life, or out of intense boredom :)

So why are you such a miserable fucker on your birthday Denny? )

That slightly pathetic tale said and done... Helen has just got out of the bath, and we're going back to bed again now. To read our new books. Honest.

It's not all bad, this birthday. It's had its moments.

Just not that moment.
denny: (Pintsize Love)
The same feature of close couples that makes them very good at games like Taboo and Pictionary, makes them horrendous Game players. Every mental trigger one develops, the other catches; and sometimes they develop in both minds literally simultaneously. For example; this, yesterday:

Everyone: *watching Battlestar Galactica*
[ profile] libellum: Oh look, the BLACK MAN is controlling the BLACK MARKET.
[ profile] libellum and [ profile] dennyd: (in unison) See what they did there? :D
Everyone: ...
[ profile] libellum and [ profile] dennyd: (in unison) I just lost The Game. :(
Everyone: *cracks up*
denny: Photo of me wearing my beloved silly hat.  It's wuzzy! (Default)
Lately there have been dozens of things I've meant to post about and I haven't got around to it. Mostly due to my terrible memory - I can think of something 2 minutes from my front door when I'm walking home, and it'll still be forgotten before I've got in, let alone booted up the PC (I'm still not leaving it on 24/7 like any rational household does, due to the dodgy power around here... must buy a UPS).

Speaking of computers and dodginess, another reason for not posting has been the various PC problems I've had lately - including most recently, the ADSL part of my local exchange blowing up or burning out or something, Thursday lunchtime. Due to the rather unhelpful hours that my ISP offer official phone support, I couldn't report this until Friday morning, and BT didn't fix it until sometime this weekend (not sure exactly when, as I was at the filmfest in 'nam for most of the weekend).

Speaking of computers, I have a Socket 939 motherboard and two 512MB sticks of DDR400 RAM for sale if anyone wants them - motherboard is brand new, used for about 2 hours (enough to figure out that my problem wasn't my old motherboard), comes with box, manual, etc. The RAM has been in use for a year or so.

In less geeky news, my girlfriend has a new boyfriend (fsvo 'new' - they've been faffing around being not quite officially in a relationship for some time now). This means I have the usual 'OMG what did I just agree to?!?' jitters, despite having spent quite a lot of the last few weeks encouraging them both in the right direction :) Emotions eh?

The 'nam filmfest was good (with the exception of 'Goth', courtesy of [ profile] ninjagirl, which was every bit as bad as promised and therefore good in its own very special way). It's really weird how tiring it is to sit around and watch movies for two whole days though - I'm exhausted, feel like I've skipped a night's sleep.

Why doesn't LJ have a 'mixed' mood?
denny: (Ouch!)
Today I can understand why the word 'gutted' started being used in quite that slang context. I feel like a have an aching empty space inside me - I half expect to collapse in around it at any second.

The consultant says my leg is about as good as it's going to get. So that's a bit crap. On the other hand, he did say that he would strongly recommend the removal of the metalwork when he writes his report. A few days ago, this probably would have made me quite happy, as the NHS weren't keen to do it... hopefully this will mean I can get it done privately and charge it to the insurance claim. Right now I'm a bit short on enthusiasm though.

November 2017



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