I accidentally in your base

I've always found it interesting the way that my brain can sort stuff out when I'm not even thinking about it, and suddenly present me with a 'there you go, sorted' when it's done.

Today I got a similar package deal regarding something that I've been thinking about almost continuously for weeks now (or months). For some reason I found this more surprising than the completely out of the blue version.

Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how the next few weeks go.

"I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart.
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard ..." -- Linkin Park, In The End

I'm feeling quite a bit better today. I think my head broke so badly yesterday that the only way I could go was up. I'm still very sad, but it seems more controllable now. Mornings are still the most difficult bit... they meant a lot, and now there's a gap in them.

Last night I failed to hit a fairly important and easily achievable deadline at work, even after it had been extended twice (originally it was last Thursday). This has, unsurprisingly, failed to impress my boss. I'm a bit worried after the talk we had a few weeks ago... I can only hope that he can see the difference between me not putting enough effort in, and me trying really hard but failing. And that he cares about the difference.

I'm not really sure what's happening about my birthday... I had tentative plans for it to be really quite fantastic, but now it seems quite likely that they're not going to happen. I was also planning a bit of a party, which also won't happen as Helen is moving house that weekend. I may have to compensate for this problem by having a monster moving-in party when I get the new flat, although that's a way off. Still, maybe I'll be in a better mood for it by then... things keep changing so fast at the minute, at least some of them have got to change for the better again soon, right?

http://www.partiallyclips.com/index.php?id=1498 amused me.

Life is going pretty damn well at the minute. In no particular order, lately I have:

* Flown (or indoor skydived, whichever name you prefer - I intend to go back a LOT once I get my settlement money).
* Fallen in love (rather suddenly and unexpectedly, and all the sweeter for it).
* Had a strangely affirming sort-of reprimand at work ("I need you to stop being apathetic; you're second in command of the whole company and I need your help." "Ah. Right.").
* Had lots of fantastic kinky sex. My girlfriend is made of win and yum.
* Had my annual check-up at the GUM clinic, all tests clear. Always nice.
* Failed to find a flat, despite looking at dozens of them. I'm not in a hurry particularly, but it would be nice to have somewhere of my own. Preferably somewhere of a reasonable size - I want to host some after-parties.
* Spent lots of time with my friends. They are lovely, lovely people, and I want to spend even more lots of time with them. Damn this working for a living nonsense, it interferes badly with what could otherwise be really monumentally spectacular social lives.
* Done quite a bit of spinning, mostly staff. Notably, four hours at Trance on the Thames - a free outdoor dance party on the Thames Beach (only appears at low tide, under Festival Pier on the south bank) - which was loads of fun.

Coming up there are more exciting things... at the end of this week, Helen and Kristen will be doing a live painting event at Planet Angel, which is cool. At the end of this month, they will be having their first exhibition, at The Foundry, which is even cooler. You should all come, to both but particularly to the exhibition - preferably to the opening night, on the 22nd :) [details]

I also have a certain amount of stress sources. Work is difficult to get a handle on at present, hence the previously referenced apathy. The new love, while sweet and wonderful, has not been the simplest of emotional entanglements, and continues to be tricky in places. My leg regularly hurts much more than usual for no apparant reason, and the promised settlement money hasn't even begun the process of turning up - the other side's insurance company are clearly going to wait until they're legally 100% obliged and compelled to hand over the cash (and quite possibly threatened with bailiffs) before they actually do so. Bastards.

Still, the good things (especially that new love, and my glorious girlfriend and friends) are outweighing the bad by a margin I couldn't begin to estimate. It's good being me.

Which is nice.

This weekend had some particularly spectacular ups. It also, in typical universe-balancing fashion, had a rather hefty down at the end. And no, this is not a drugs reference :)

Hopefully the wobbly bits will settle down over time, and the good bits will still be around. I really must work on my impulse control though... occasionally my usual excess of patience seems to desert me completely, and the results are not always ideal in the long run.