denny | Network

taiga13 posting in

poetry

I still think about you

Wonder if you finally quit,

Do you still speak to your mom?

I remember when you went to Japan

How you swore you’d never forgive him.

I can’t remember to take my meds but

I remember you wanted to live on a houseboat.

It’s a strange intimacy,

all of us unspooling across decades of internet space

Like balls of yarn

leaving a trail behind us of everywhere

and everyone we’ve ever been

I hope you got your houseboat.

I hope you got everything.

Current Mood: nostalgic

kaberett

Reading. Preeeeetty much just progressing further through the She's A Beast archives, and continuing to develop opinions. I... think that's it? I think that's it; it has been A Busy Week.

Writing. Words Go Up: over 9.5k. Two more subsections titled. I continue to chew things over.

Listening. More Hidden Almanac. Technically up to May 2015, but I'm going to be going back over most of 2015 on account of Tragically, Some Dozing. (It is Car Noise, you see, and we have been. Travelling.)

Eating. A lot of food made for me by a variety of other people, notably including dosa + thali by Chai Station Chester, hot chocolate from [Knoops] in Chester, bread/cake/cookies/waffles by the Jaunty Goat and petits fours by Biscotti di Debora. Petits fours AMAZING; further thoughts possibly to follow.

Exploring. Southport Botanic Gardens, which struck me as much more of a park and rather less of a botanical garden than I'd quite expected based on the name, though perhaps this is because the fernery was closed by the time we got to it; very much enjoyed THE AVIARY.

Minimal exploration of Chester Zoo, once again culminating in staying in the bat cave until kicking out time.

Little bit of poking around Salisbury, feat. excellent tulips, excellent irises, FREE BLUE AGAPANTHUS that someone had divided, excellent bee doorknocker.

And then finally we made it HOME.

Making & mending. Progressed A's second glove some more! Stalled when I got to starting increases for the thumb gusset on account of my additional stitch markers were in the roof box and ... no.

Growing. Kept the lemongrass alive through The Travels. Acquired, as mentioned, a chunk of agapanthus. Unshockingly, the aubergine I sowed immediately before leaving has not sprouted, but hey, I'll turn the propagator back on. Nothing else seems to have died while I was away, hurrah.

Observing. MOON. The Dog. Creatures, including A having an excellent time Experiencing Bats (and also Flamingoes With Wings, A Rhinoceros, some grey-crowned cranes, and Monkeys).

oglaf_comic_feed

https://www.oglaf.com/sparkle-and-drama/

ysobel

One thing I am discovering is that I hate how I look right now.

It's not new -- not liking photos/videos of myself has been the case for a while -- but it hasn't come up much because I don't really do mirrors. But I'm taking progress pictures of my ear, and a) it looks horrible; b) I'm still adjusting to how much of the ear had to go (only like 1/5, but more than the hole-punch taken from my nose ten years ago, which needed no reconstruction); and c) my throat makes me look like a bullfrog (I tend towards double-chin-ness anyway because my head is fixed at a slightly downward angle, but it's super puffy lately because of the submandibular flareups I've been getting)

At least I have cute shirts and cute earrings ...

starwatcher posting in

ebooks

Grab them here.

Pass it on wherever you like.

magid posting in

agonyaunt

From today’s NY Times, in the weekly Social Q’s column.

Our youngest, who is 37 and uses they/them pronouns, has a long history of psychological problems. They sent a text informing us that they no longer want to interact with family members, and that if we want to meet with them, they require an advocate to be present. This child lives in our second home. They don’t pay rent, but they have a job that covers food and health insurance costs. We’re not sure what caused the break. They had a very bad interaction with our son, and we asked them to work it out themselves. But our son wants nothing to do with his sibling, and my husband wants to stop communicating with them, too. He says they are toxic. I am heartbroken. What should I do?

MOTHER

( Read more... )

scaramouche

It's an autobiography! Michael J. Fox has written other autobiographies before (I haven't read those, though) and this one, titled No Time Like the Future: An Optimist Considers Mortality focuses on the recent, specific period of his life when (1) his Parkinson's symptoms got more intense, (2) he had spinal surgery to remove a tumour and (3) after said surgery fell down and broke an arm (!!!!) -- hence multiple rounds of physical therapy and recovery as the three issues overlapped.

Tangent: Fox is so synonymous with Parkinson's, that I was surprised to read that he was only 29 when first diagnosed. I do vaguely remember when the news came out, but since I was a kid at the time, my brain remembered it as him as having gotten it when he was a mature adult who'd already lived a long life. That vantage point is certainly different now! Twenty-nine is so young.

The book's primary focus is in sharing the issues of his specific disabilities and how he feels about said disabilities, with his fear of missing out on experiences with his family and friends, of feeling betrayed by his own body, of his attempts to make emotional sense of his situation. Although Fox is funny and witty in his anecdotes, it's still an intense read for that, though I do appreciate all the detail of how his symptoms limit his movement, speech and facial expressions, and the kind of geometric math he has to calculate in his head every time he wants to walk across a room. Fox does get angry and sad at points, but as the title says, he's also very grateful of what he's able to achieve despite his "premature ageing", and (IMO) the main thing he really wants to get out there is that the disabled should not be made invisible, and how important accommodations are.

Fox interweaves these health stories with his second-wave career, post-Spin City through the various supporting roles he had over the years in Rescue Me, The Good Wife and others, with shoutouts to the accommodations various friends and sets were able to give him in order to allow him to act. The book wraps up during covid-19 lockdown, with the epilogue being about how he's retiring again since he's done with acting, though he could come back if he gets better. (I would guess he did, since he was in Shrinking this year.) Fun and thoughtful read, with certain issues hitting close to home.

Current Mood: hot
Current Music: Tom Jones - Kiss

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Pay Dirt,
My husband and I are fortunate enough to be homeowners with pretty good credit. We get credit card and loan offers in the mail all the time. I’ve been trying to declutter our house, and junk mail is a big issue. Everything goes on the entry way table and its always overflowing. I set up a recycle bin in the entry way for just such physical spam, but my husband won’t use it because he says we have to SHRED all those offers, and our shredder is not big enough to deal with all the constant clutter! Also, the shredder is in his office, and he only gets to it every other month or so, so the workflow doesn’t keep up.

I know that’s the best, most secure way to deal with junk. But really, our recycle bin is kept in the garage until the night before the garbage is collected., then we roll it out to the curb. We always put other recycling on top of the mail.

Is it really that dangerous to just toss those mailers as is? Maybe tear them up by hand first? Please help!
—Drowning in Junk Mail

( Read more... )

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

Dear How to Do It,
I’m an 18-year-old guy, and I’ve recently had to move in with my older sister and her husband. My brother-in-law, “Kenneth,” is honestly the most amazing guy I’ve ever met. He’s kind, funny, and built like a Greek god. He’s also super traditional and religious, which is part of why I’m so confused.
Lately, I feel like there’s this insane sexual tension between us. He walks around the house in just sweatpants with no underwear, and the bulge is so obvious. I feel like he has to know what he’s doing. Today, he was working out shirtless, and I asked if I could just sit and watch. He said yes, no questions asked, and worked out for a full hour. He was lifting weights and flexing right in front of me.

To me, this is a clear sign. A straight guy wouldn’t let another guy just watch him work out, would he? He has to be into it. But he’s also my sister’s husband, and he’s super religious, so it’s all so complicated. I’m starting to think about ways to make a move, to show him I’m interested. I’m convinced he wants it too. My question is: Am I right? Is he giving me signals, or am I imagining this?
—Confused and Craving

( Read more... )

scaramouche

While I was away for Eid I got into a mini-Bollywood marathon watching old movies on streaming, and I had SUCH a fun time. The movies I watched:

Khabi Khabie (1976)
Netflix's summary: "Years after they're forced by their families to marry other people, a poet and his true love must come to terms with their past".

I was bamboozled by that summary, wrongly assuming that said poet and his true love would get back together! After poking around a bit, this movie seems to be part of a mini-movement of movies in that era that explored emotional and/or physical infidelity, though this movie is "only" of the emotional infidelity front and is actually really thoughtful because no one's a villain, and it delves into the complications of romantic and familial bonds, and how love and our expectations of love change over time. I also really liked that, when one of the characters is adopted, the movie made sure to show that her adopted parents are her real parents, and do not become secondary after said character finds her birth mother. The 1970s style with its emotional shorthands and broad drama really worked for me in this case because it was balanced with a grounded emotional core. As a side bonus, I don't think I've ever watched a movie that had both Shashi and Rishi Kapoor in main roles, which was fun.

Anjaam (1994)
Netflix's summary: "A wealthy industrialist's dangerous obsession with a flight attendant destroys her world, until she takes matters into her own hands to exact revenge."

This doesn't even start ominously the way Darr does, and instead uses rom-com tropes some have described as "slap-slap-kiss" except in this case there's no "kiss" reward for the man, because his pushy behaviour is used to show his sense of entitlement and his refusal to take "no" for an answer is bad, actually! The tonal shift wasn't abrupt per se because there was build-up, but when the movie turned to outright violence I kind blinked dazedly in ye meme of "well, that escalated quickly". My parents only caught glimpses of this as I was watching it, and were super confused because they kept assuming that Shah Rukh was the hero/romantic lead, and he's, uh... not. Very not. Satisfying turn for the female lead, satisfying revenge arc, satisfying ending for the characters. Madhuri Dixit wasn't among my fav Bollywood actresses growing up, but I'm really appreciating her depth and range now.

Aaina (1993)
Netflix's summary: "When a woman leaves her fiance to pursue her dreams of stardom, her sister steps in to marry him. But what happens when the bride returns?"

About half an hour into this movie I realized that I'd seen it before, when I was younger and specifically during those formative years, because boy oh boy some iddy tropes I still find super delicious today are in full technicolour in this movie. I do laugh that this movie wants us to believe that Juhi Chawla is the "plain" second sister, but she's so good at playing the arc of a self-conscious woman who'd been raised to believe that familial respect means always letting her older sister bully her, and eventually learning to stand up for herself for herself (as opposed to fighting purely for the sake of a man). Although her character is in love with Jackie Shroff's character from the start, the movie fully acknowledges how messed up it is that she has to be his replacement bride, and she is the one who sets boundaries for their new marriage. The melodrama and big gestures of Amrita Singh are SO delicious and OTT as she tries to sabotage their marriage, and the machinations of the movie are not "reasonable" or "realistic" -- they are indulgent and cruel and wonderful, and I love it. I hadn't seen anything of Jackie Shroff's for years and years, so watching this movie was a journey from "yeah, I remember how charming he is now" to "he is the most handsome Bollywood actor in the WORLD" (/hyperbole)

Current Mood: distracted
Current Music: Dil To Pagal Hai

jadelennox

After Ny's memorial I felt like a complete awkward pony; I talked myself down from an anxiety spiral with the very jadelennox-branded pep talk of, basically, "Stop being so damn full of yourself, kid, literally nobody is going to notice or remember how bad you were at personing in a room full of grieving people in shock, many of whom primarily know each other online. Nobody was looking at you."

Anyway I have heard from three different people, one of whom I see in person regularly, that I either didn't see them at all when they tried to talk to me, or I saw them and talked to them like they were strangers.

Honestly I think this is an achievement. Being so Not At My Best I was noticeably out of it even in a room full of people Not At Their Best. Awkward pony gold star!

kaberett

Reading. Finished my first pass through LIFTOFF by Casey Johnston! Will continue to use it as a reference work (tomorrow starts my third and final week of Phase 1 -- bodyweight practice of compound movements -- before I move on to doing things with Actual Weights...). I should probably note for the record that I have edited it as I've gone through to fix a fair few typos.

More She's A Beast archives (just reached February 2023!).

Tiiiiiny bit of a start on my Wicked Problems (Max Gladstone) reread, in a general spirit of wanting to have any idea at all of what's going on in Dead Hand Rule.

Writing. The document! is over! 9000!!! despite the fact that I've deleted a bunch of bits of variation-on-a-theme as I home in on what it is I actually want to say! I have gone "that will do" about my first draft of the introduction (it definitely needs ... more ... tweaking, but I think all the pieces are now there) and have moved on to the introduction to part the first, working title "What is pain?" I'm very close to having that Good Enough For Now, I think, whereupon... a chapter?!

Watching. 2026 Migraine World Summit. So much Migraine World Summit. BUT I managed to catch everything this year, and now I am working on condensing and transcribing my digital notes into my notebook. More to follow, possibly.

Listening. I caught up to where A had got to with Hidden Almanac (which I had theoretically heard all of but in practice was asleep for... some... of)! We had a long drive! We are now most of the way through 2014, I have learned about Pastor Drom's side hustle, and there is a crow named George.

Playing. Bit more Inkulinati? Tiny bit more Inkulinati.

Eating. Mooooore allotment lamb's lettuce. AND a bunch of TREETS from the local FANCY BAKERY, incl. double chocolate brownie (not quite dark and chocolatey enough for my tastes; too dark for A); bread pudding; and a rhubarb and ginger teacake.

This week I am also experimenting with lentil cakes (like rice cakes, but lentil) and Dr Karg's Pumpkin Seed Protein Thins. I find the former perplexing, in that they taste kind of like crispy seaweed snacks while also being completely the wrong shape and texture, and am much more into the latter (even eaten dry!) than I expected. A considers them alarming cardboard; I think I think they are enough like Ryvita, of which I am fond, to be of at least some interest? Might... get more of these. (Could in theory reverse engineer them but that sounds like a lot of effort.)

Exploring. Had another couple of Extremely Satisfactory errand-bimbles discovering People's Front Gardens.

Making & mending. I have FROGGED the experimental continental knitted portion of A's second glove (tension was bad; have decided I want these gloves Done more than I want to do enough continental knitting to get the tension right) and resumed; I have done A Little More Cuff.

Growing. Aubergines finally! belatedly! sown! Oca into the ground. Broad beans finally coming up. More garlic transplanted.

Observing. THE COOTS! HAVE! EGGS!

glinda

Oooft, I have missed skating.

(For the newer readers, I used to be a roller derby referee. Roller skating - quad skates - was a big part of my life for the back half of my twenties and my early thirties. I drifted away from it after I moved up to Inverness, but I’ve loved roller skating since I was a little kid, so while I don’t really miss derby these days I do miss skating.)

I’m still on my ice hockey kick after the Olympics and one of the knock-on effects is being really aware of how much I miss skating. I’ve been meaning to check when the public ice skating sessions are and try to convince one of my skating buddies to chum me along to a session for ages, and this weekend I finally did it. And it was great!

I haven’t been on any sort of skates since before the pandemic and I think the last time I was actual ice skates was in Princess Street Gardens just before Xmas 2013 when my then girlfriend decided that would be a cute date idea and then spent the whole session clinging to either the edges or my hand! I wasn’t sure how well it would go, but after a slightly wobbly start it all came back to me satisfyingly fast. (My buddy was even rustier but also got the hang of it eventually, we did a fair bit of skating round holding hands like kids because she’s had a stressful week and was getting into her head about it. That was pretty fun too. We had a lot of fun reminiscing about ice discos from our teen years.) The ice was a mess so I didn’t dare try crossovers or anything too fancy. (The kids team had practice that morning, and I don’t think they bothered to send the zamboni out between sessions as we got there at the start of the session and it was pretty roughed up already.) The rink skates are super rigid so my feet are a bit sore from that - actually I ache all over from nearly 90 minutes of skating, but I had so much fun. My buddy gave up after the first 45 mins of so and went and got a hot drink and heckled from the sidelines while I went zooming around gleefully with a big stupid grin on my face. I was high as a kite, all the good endorphins. We’re going back - or at least we’re going to try the rink at Aviemore instead. I cannot stop grinning!

( I do not need my own ice skates. I do not.)

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: David Guetta feat Sia - Titanium

oglaf_comic_feed

https://www.oglaf.com/brass/

kaberett

Today was A Travel Day; yesterday, in preparation for same, I Ran Errands, including "acquiring Tiny Cake" and "visiting the pharmacy".

On the way from those two jobs to the next couple, I passed Several Good Things.

One was a new-to-me flavour of completely ridiculous daffodil:

a double daffodil, with white petals and inner trumpet, protruding past a much shorter orange outer trumpet

It's a double not in the sense of having a confusing froth of intermingled trumpets (as of Double Fashion or Double Camparnelle, both of which exist locally), but in the sense of having two nested trumpets, one shorter and orange, from which the longer white one protrudes. I have never! previously! seen a thing like this! I am really enjoying my current streak of encountering varieties of daffodil that make me go "what the fuck???"

Shortly thereafter I checked over my shoulder while crossing a tiny bridge and was startled and delighted to see A COOT UPON THE NEST that, last I passed it, was clearly still derelict. Obviously I went back and Gazed Upon It for Some Time and was eventually rewarded by it STANDING UP to reveal SEVEN??? (possibly) EGGS!!!

And the Egyptian goslings were peeping about the place when I subsequently passed them on my way back up the hill. A+ errands would run again.

ursamajor

I spent half an hour of my one wild and precious life filling out the Serious Eats Starch Madness bracket, because the world is going to hell so why not. (I will take the tiny light that California will be renaming Cesar Chavez Day to Farmworkers Day, and still observing it as a state holiday. Better to honor farmworkers as a class rather than continue the grand American tradition of hero-worshipping fallible individuals and then being shocked that "good people" can do "bad things" because we refuse to understand nuance, let alone act intelligently upon it. But goddammit that's one hell of a missing stair.)

( in which I get highly opinionated about baked goods, join me! 😁 )

Okay, I guess I should go figure out dinner that doesn't involve a stove because it got to 90F today, like 25-30F above normal. Rude. And yes, I started with ice cream. But I may need something a little more substantial.

Current Mood: hungry

rydra_wong

James Davis Nicoll: Let’s Talk This Over: What We Are Seeking by Cameron Reed

Yes I pre-ordered it blind, have you even met me.

conuly posting in

agonyaunt

Dear Carolyn: My friends think I’m stupid. I’m a high school junior, and I go to a highly academically competitive school, where it is expected by my peers that you are supposed to take at least three AP classes. My closest friends are taking five. They are constantly stressed, overworked and burned out. My peers believe the only way to get into a “good” college (whatever that means) is to take as many AP classes as possible and to get the highest SAT score as possible. This, I know, is ridiculous on so many levels, but I stay out of it.

Lately, however, my friends have been shaming me for only taking one AP class, and for taking one standardized test vs. the other. I am going to college for musical theater, and admissions for those programs rely primarily on auditions, not grades. So why on earth would I put myself through so much stress if it won’t affect my college admissions? I’ve tried to explain this to my friends, but they think they know better than I. Additionally, they equate my taking only one AP class with being stupid. In the AP class I do take, my friend consistently shuts down and mocks my ideas with her other friends.

I’ve tried to mention the reasons I don’t take too many hard classes, but it’s like talking to a wall. I’ve also explained that since I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago, I am now more aware of what I can handle. When all else failed, I even mentioned once that I have an IQ of 135 (tested when I was diagnosed with ADHD). I am actually quite smart. My friends stared at me and said, “Yeah… I think they lied to you.”

This hurts my feelings and happens so often that I’ve even started to believe I am stupid, despite all evidence to the contrary. Now I’ve started subconsciously playing into the “token dumb friend” stereotype because that is all I’m surrounded with. Should I not respond and ignore it?
— Stupidly Smart

( Read more... )

kaberett

Migraine World Summit is finished for the year and they chose an extremely good closing keynote about which I am cheerful and bouncy. (Messoud Ashina, CGRP, PACAP & beyond, say if you would like me to try to write more about this).
Got to spend time with The Child! Was summoned Upstairs to Rest and Read Books for a bit. Some really really excellent self-management and regulation in there around Lots Of Feelings.
BRONZE AGE LOOM.
Good therapy session.
There is now a box of veg cassoulet (+ suspicious protein chunks) in the freezer to be Future Food, and another two portions on the hob for dinner tomorrow.
I know I keep mentioning the Bedtime Ritual of Lebkuchen and Milk but this is because it is very good and very soothing, okay.
My watch continues a viable approach to biofeedback (so all I need now is to remember to actually do it...)

ysobel

a) my mom called today -- she's convinced there are People After Me and also that I am being held captive. Nothing I said reassured her. I told her several times that I loved her. Dementia is a bitch and a half.

b) unbandaged my ear today. Felt good to be free, though if I'd been smart I'd've shaved my head Monday in preparation. For now bandaging is optional, because it's sealed in with dermabond. The donor site for the skin looks fine, as far as "was sutured up day before yesterday" goes. The ear ... really doesn't. It's a good reconstruction, they did a good job, but it looks gross and wrong. I will probably keep it bandagd.

a+b=c) I am totally not coping rn. Doesn't help that my sleep has been interrupted because pain. Some of the pain may have been from the adhesive from the bandage (there was gauze over the ear but taped to my head, and it's the head that was hurting most today). idk.

d) spent today without glasses, because blurry astigmatic eyesight is more comfortable than crooked glasses. (Contact lenses are not practical since I can't reach my eyes.) I don't know when the top edge of the ear, where it connects to the head, will be okay with either glasses or hearing aid.

e) I'm tired.

Shiny Things!

To My Friends from LiveJournal by Hayley DeRoche

vital functions

Sparkle and Drama

(no subject)

Cozy Mystery sale through March 29

Our Youngest Child Has Cut Ties With Our Family. Help!

Book Log: No Time Like the Future

(no subject)

My Sister’s Husband Is Agreeing to Things No Straight Man Would. It’s a Sign.

Big Movies

but it's my destiny to be the king of fail

vital functions

Glinda Go Zoom!

Brass

happy equinox, etc

(no subject)

NEW CAMERON REED NOVEL OUT APRIL 7. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

(no subject)

some good things

(no subject)

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May 2020

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