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This and that...
Jun. 18th, 2005 09:34 amLast night: went to see Sin City with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
trishpiglet. It was very good, in an artistically violent sort of way... I enjoyed it, although possibly not in quite the same way that she did ;)
Today: hopefully an electrician will be around soon to repair my lights, which stopped working a few days ago. This has led to me having to shower in the pitch black (my bathroom has no windows), which is an interesting tactile experience, but a bit worrying with my gimpy leg and semi-functional balance.
At midday I have to go and pick up a hire car, then in the afternoon I'll be driving to somewhere between Luton and Bedford, and in the evening I'll be spinning fire at a huge party, so that should be quite cool. I've been really looking forward to this party, especially after last weekend's clubbing bombed out, so I hope it's as much fun as I want it to be! And I hope I don't bollix up the performing too badly :)
In general: I keep looking out of my window and thinking my car has been stolen. My heart is getting quite a workout leaping up into my throat several times a day.
I feel as if something big is happening with my life right now... I just don't know what it is. Possibly it's just adaption to being so very single, for more-or-less the first time since I was a teenager. It feels worryingly like the last couple of times that I've felt 'grown up', force-matured by events and circumstance. This has never really been a Good Thing™ for my general happiness levels, so I'm a bit concerned about the whole thing. It bodes, as Gaspode would say.
Last week I fell out with three of my close friends, and although the circumstances were very different in each case, I felt that there was some connection (beyond me being an unreasonable bastard, which although I'm willing to consider as an option, doesn't really seem to be the case after asking some uninvolved people for their thoughts). Having given it a lot of thought, the only links I can think of are 'thinking my time isn't worth anything' and 'putting their own wants and desires so far ahead of my own that mine might as well not exist'. I'm not sure if those aren't too generic to actually mean anything, and I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve by figuring out the connection anyway.
On the whole, I'm feeling very lonely a lot of the time at the moment. This is probably easily explained by the combination of being single, having my transport link to the rest of the world cut off again after such a short time of having one, and falling out with good friends. Knowing the reason doesn't make it even a tiny bit better.
Oh, and I feel sick. But hopefully that's just because it's the morning and I woke up way too early for my liking.
Edit: oh, and, I was actually hoping that the results of this poll would cheer me up a bit, but I guess I over-estimated my appeal these days. I suppose it could be worse, at least all the 'ewww' people are straight guys. My thanks to the 'hell yeah' people... both of them. Any time :)
trishpiglet. It was very good, in an artistically violent sort of way... I enjoyed it, although possibly not in quite the same way that she did ;)Today: hopefully an electrician will be around soon to repair my lights, which stopped working a few days ago. This has led to me having to shower in the pitch black (my bathroom has no windows), which is an interesting tactile experience, but a bit worrying with my gimpy leg and semi-functional balance.
At midday I have to go and pick up a hire car, then in the afternoon I'll be driving to somewhere between Luton and Bedford, and in the evening I'll be spinning fire at a huge party, so that should be quite cool. I've been really looking forward to this party, especially after last weekend's clubbing bombed out, so I hope it's as much fun as I want it to be! And I hope I don't bollix up the performing too badly :)
In general: I keep looking out of my window and thinking my car has been stolen. My heart is getting quite a workout leaping up into my throat several times a day.
I feel as if something big is happening with my life right now... I just don't know what it is. Possibly it's just adaption to being so very single, for more-or-less the first time since I was a teenager. It feels worryingly like the last couple of times that I've felt 'grown up', force-matured by events and circumstance. This has never really been a Good Thing™ for my general happiness levels, so I'm a bit concerned about the whole thing. It bodes, as Gaspode would say.
Last week I fell out with three of my close friends, and although the circumstances were very different in each case, I felt that there was some connection (beyond me being an unreasonable bastard, which although I'm willing to consider as an option, doesn't really seem to be the case after asking some uninvolved people for their thoughts). Having given it a lot of thought, the only links I can think of are 'thinking my time isn't worth anything' and 'putting their own wants and desires so far ahead of my own that mine might as well not exist'. I'm not sure if those aren't too generic to actually mean anything, and I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve by figuring out the connection anyway.
On the whole, I'm feeling very lonely a lot of the time at the moment. This is probably easily explained by the combination of being single, having my transport link to the rest of the world cut off again after such a short time of having one, and falling out with good friends. Knowing the reason doesn't make it even a tiny bit better.
Oh, and I feel sick. But hopefully that's just because it's the morning and I woke up way too early for my liking.
Edit: oh, and, I was actually hoping that the results of this poll would cheer me up a bit, but I guess I over-estimated my appeal these days. I suppose it could be worse, at least all the 'ewww' people are straight guys. My thanks to the 'hell yeah' people... both of them. Any time :)
