Hrm. We need to talk at some point... is your phone working again yet? Or are you likely to be in London again soon? Face to face would be better, if we can manage it.
Phone is still dead - haven't actually had the chance to get it looked at yet, so they may fix it when I take it to the shop tomorrow, or you could call the landline (although I'm not sure exactly when I'll be at home over the weekend - Sunday evening might be the best bet.) I'm going to be in London for Em's birthday thing though, if you want to leave it until that weekend. If we do that though, any chance you could reassure me that it is at least on the level of "a bit upset with me and need to sort it out so that it doesn't happen again" rather than the "sufficiently hurt/angry that you just want the chance to tell me why you never want to see me again", otherwise I'll spend the week convincing myself it's the latter.
That weekend would be good... we can work out the details closer to the time.
Now that I've calmed down a bit, we're somewhere in the middle. I'm sufficiently hurt and angry that the outcome could go either way, depending on how the conversation goes.
Not really. The shiny-new-car happiness was doing a splendid job of covering up a longer-term unhappiness, but as the car is no longer with me, I'm back to being quite down.
Mostly I miss my last girlfriend. I'm not really sure what to do about that except wait for time to heal it up... although I'm starting to wonder if this is one of the ones that never really heals up properly.
I'm sure life will balance out again eventually, it just seems to be in a endless-feeling trough right now - brief period of car/money glee aside. It's the duration rather than the depth which is really wearing me down.
I don't think I've pinned down all the reasons, but the prevalent issue seems to be that I don't particularly like being single, and I definitely don't like being (mostly) celibate. I deal very badly with not feeling wanted, and I don't seem able to believe that I'm wanted unless it's being acted upon.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-16 09:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-17 12:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-16 10:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-17 12:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-16 11:08 pm (UTC)*cuddles* *kisses your forehead* *cuddles some more*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-17 12:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-17 01:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-17 01:36 pm (UTC)Now that I've calmed down a bit, we're somewhere in the middle. I'm sufficiently hurt and angry that the outcome could go either way, depending on how the conversation goes.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-16 11:51 pm (UTC)You OK, babe?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-17 12:00 pm (UTC)Mostly I miss my last girlfriend. I'm not really sure what to do about that except wait for time to heal it up... although I'm starting to wonder if this is one of the ones that never really heals up properly.
I'm sure life will balance out again eventually, it just seems to be in a endless-feeling trough right now - brief period of car/money glee aside. It's the duration rather than the depth which is really wearing me down.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-17 08:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-17 12:02 pm (UTC)