IT'S THE WEEKEND!! ...meh.
May. 6th, 2005 08:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dennyFeeling very lonely again this evening. I don't really know what to do about it... I could go to Low Down & Dirty just to see a few familiar faces, but I don't think I'd actually enjoy the event very much. Also I'd have to find my way back across London on my own at 1am or whatever, which I find to be a very depressing experience, going by how miserable I felt the last time I did it (when I went to SC on my own). The solitary return journey really re-awakens and reinforces all the feelings I'd be going out to try and calm, so on the whole it doesn't seem like a very good idea at all.
On the flip side, I'm getting to the point where I'm finding myself rather annoyingly pathetic, sitting at home sniffling about how unloved I feel, yet unwilling to venture out and see my friends. I've never really liked telephone calls, I usually don't feel any emotional connection during them, so my only way to stop myself feeling all alone is to go out and see people. Or for them to come and see me of course, but that's never really been a common feature of my life... I seem to mostly associate myself with those who are either too busy or too poor to travel to see someone else.
I suppose to be fair that description covers most of the population most of the time... the little pools of time in which we get to do things that we want to do are quite small, and can easily become booked up months in advance. And nobody ever has enough money :)
I think I shall go to bed with a book. A small stack of them actually. Hopefully some of the new stuff I bought last week will be engaging enough that I'll lose track of reality for a while... and hopefully tomorrow will be better.
On the flip side, I'm getting to the point where I'm finding myself rather annoyingly pathetic, sitting at home sniffling about how unloved I feel, yet unwilling to venture out and see my friends. I've never really liked telephone calls, I usually don't feel any emotional connection during them, so my only way to stop myself feeling all alone is to go out and see people. Or for them to come and see me of course, but that's never really been a common feature of my life... I seem to mostly associate myself with those who are either too busy or too poor to travel to see someone else.
I suppose to be fair that description covers most of the population most of the time... the little pools of time in which we get to do things that we want to do are quite small, and can easily become booked up months in advance. And nobody ever has enough money :)
I think I shall go to bed with a book. A small stack of them actually. Hopefully some of the new stuff I bought last week will be engaging enough that I'll lose track of reality for a while... and hopefully tomorrow will be better.
