IT'S THE WEEKEND!! ...meh.

[denny]

Feeling very lonely again this evening. I don't really know what to do about it... I could go to Low Down & Dirty just to see a few familiar faces, but I don't think I'd actually enjoy the event very much. Also I'd have to find my way back across London on my own at 1am or whatever, which I find to be a very depressing experience, going by how miserable I felt the last time I did it (when I went to SC on my own). The solitary return journey really re-awakens and reinforces all the feelings I'd be going out to try and calm, so on the whole it doesn't seem like a very good idea at all.

On the flip side, I'm getting to the point where I'm finding myself rather annoyingly pathetic, sitting at home sniffling about how unloved I feel, yet unwilling to venture out and see my friends. I've never really liked telephone calls, I usually don't feel any emotional connection during them, so my only way to stop myself feeling all alone is to go out and see people. Or for them to come and see me of course, but that's never really been a common feature of my life... I seem to mostly associate myself with those who are either too busy or too poor to travel to see someone else.

I suppose to be fair that description covers most of the population most of the time... the little pools of time in which we get to do things that we want to do are quite small, and can easily become booked up months in advance. And nobody ever has enough money :)

I think I shall go to bed with a book. A small stack of them actually. Hopefully some of the new stuff I bought last week will be engaging enough that I'll lose track of reality for a while... and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Comments

[lzz.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I am in on my own as well doing tedious things like cleaning the bathroom. Unfortunately I have work tomorrow, so I can't come down and visit. :(

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

*strokes hair*
Come over here for my party tomorrow night, yes? I'll feed you, and everything. Bring a sleeping bag and you can crash in the study (lulled by the server hum), and you might even get a fried breakfast on Sunday morning.

[dennyd.livejournal.com]

I'm planning on attending the party, yes :) Feeding me probably won't be necessary though, as I'm meeting my dad at 7pm for restauranty goodness of some kind, then heading for yours after that.

Sleeping on floors isn't a great idea with the state of my leg, so I'll probably have to head off relatively early and do the tube thang.

[booklectica]

We might be able to give you a lift home if you wanted, depending on how plans turn out.

[dennyd.livejournal.com]

That might be very helpful... we can work out if it's an option or not at the time I guess. See you there :)

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Dang. We only have one airbed, and that's already been bagged.

[dennyd.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I would have put in a reservation earlier if I'd been sure I was going to come, but my head hasn't been up to planning anything more than a day or two in advance over the last month or two - my mood has been so prone to crashing that I don't want to commit to things until I'm almost there.

It'll be nice to see everyone for a few hours anyway :)

[ravenselene.livejournal.com]

I'm just back on ma boat after the long trawl home from Low Down n Dirty. Fabulous to see Foxy for his bday. Other than that............. Put it this wasy, my original plan had been to get 2am train home n get back from hemel. I was happy to leave at 12 for the 12.30 train...
Hurumph. No power on boat. Means pooter will crash soon. Meh. Bed then x

[dryad-wombat.livejournal.com]

*Hug*. I hope the reading was cosy and pleasing, and I hope you feel happier soon.