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dennyI feel very sad today.
It's surprisingly different from how I've felt over the last few weeks... in some ways it's a much purer (?) and far more intense feeling than being depressed and miserable, but in other ways it's not as painful. That doesn't really convey what I'm trying to say, but I can't think of any better words so far.
It's very strong though. Very very strong. I feel like I should be laying down and trying to sleep until it goes away, even though I'm not particularly tired. Obviously that's not practical, but it's a very compelling feeling nonetheless. I feel like I've taken a highly effective sleeping pill that's working on my spirit and emotions instead of my body and mind.
I think the best word for how it's making me feel is 'languid'. It's sort of how I imagine the last bit of death by drowning might feel. Apparently it's a pleasant way to go (how would anyone know that?). You're still dead afterwards though.
It's surprisingly different from how I've felt over the last few weeks... in some ways it's a much purer (?) and far more intense feeling than being depressed and miserable, but in other ways it's not as painful. That doesn't really convey what I'm trying to say, but I can't think of any better words so far.
It's very strong though. Very very strong. I feel like I should be laying down and trying to sleep until it goes away, even though I'm not particularly tired. Obviously that's not practical, but it's a very compelling feeling nonetheless. I feel like I've taken a highly effective sleeping pill that's working on my spirit and emotions instead of my body and mind.
I think the best word for how it's making me feel is 'languid'. It's sort of how I imagine the last bit of death by drowning might feel. Apparently it's a pleasant way to go (how would anyone know that?). You're still dead afterwards though.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-13 01:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-13 01:22 pm (UTC)Are things picking up at all for you yet?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-13 01:40 pm (UTC)I know the feeling you mean, and you're right, it's not the same as feeling depressed or miserable...it's something else entirely and when I think on the feeling, the only way I can really describe it is through music...Savean by Dead Can Dance. Heh, that piece makes me cry at the best of times, but I can't listen to it all when I have that feeling...too scared I'll start crying and possibly never stop.
As for me? **smiles** It's all a bit shite babe...no change at all, no further forward..**heavy sigh**...just coming up to week 4 homeless :(
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-14 03:11 pm (UTC)"I have been half in love with easeful death."
Amazing stuff.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-15 09:28 am (UTC)My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk...