Mobile phone companies make No Sense. Film at 11.

[denny]

So I want to upgrade my handset. So I go to the Orange website. And indeed, it gives me a fun selection of things to choose from.

But it appears to be trying to sell me a new contract instead of an upgrade. So I ring their helpline. They quote me the same price for the phone as an upgrade as they would for a new customer (bit crap, I think, what about rewarding customer loyalty? But okay, go on). They tie me into a 12 month contract again, just as they would with a new customer (fine). They give me the same 3G bundle (whee). But hang on... if I'm not a new customer, I don't get the double free minutes every month, and nor do I get the 1000 free text messages that a new customer would get.

"Um, that seems a bit unfair."
"That's how the system works."
"Hrm. What happens if I give the notice on my current contract, and then buy a new contract just before this one runs out?"
"Then you get the new customer deal."
*pause for non-forthcoming recognition of the silliness of this policy*
"Isn't that a bit silly?"
"That's how the system works."
*pause while I reject the sentence "You keep saying that phrase... I do not think it means what you think it means"*
"I don't suppose anyone's considered changing how the system works so that it's in any way sane, have they?"
"..."
"Never mind, you've been very helpful... I'll just go and ring the contract cancellation number I guess. Goodnight."

Don't they have any interest at all in keeping a customer who has been with them for four or five years? I guess I should go and shop around the other networks - if I'm going to have to fuck around this much, I probably should consider the alternatives. The only thing is, I've heard more horror stories about all the other networks' quality of service than I have Orange, by a significant margin. Maybe that's why they're so casual...

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nicolai_/]

Well, Vodafone's network is the best, definitely - you get coverage more places than Orange (like inside big buildings).
However their customer service is a mixture of Stalinesque and a scene from Brazil and they're expensive - I intend never to be a customer of them until they are the last telco standing and I have no choice.

[uberredfraggle.livejournal.com]

Orange is the only network I've found to work in a small village in somerset and the rock pub in Oxford. Found Vodafone to be crap for coverage personally.

[stuartl.livejournal.com]

I'm with florence90. I think Vodafone is rubbish and I compare them to Orange daily cos I have a VF phone and an Orange one :)

[nullstr.livejournal.com]

But to "buy that shit you don't need" is what it's all about, not some Old Europe romantic notion of loyalty. Not sure you get this Capitalism thing ;o)

Personally, I quite enjoy having occasional zero reception on T-Mobile. The idea of being contactable at all times is for me a bit freaky.

The best reception I ever had was at 4017m, miles from nowhere, in the Alps. Mobile networks from 3 different countries were vying for service, heh heh.

[swiftangel.livejournal.com]

Phones-4-U called Ash to let him know that he was eligible for a free phone upgrade now that he's been on the Orange contract for a year. We went to the store to see what phones were available for the free upgrade.... and were told that there weren't any. He would either have to buy a new phone or a new contract.

We went to a second location of Phones-4-U and they *did* have a phone available for free upgrade and couldn't understand why the other store told us differently. He now has a shiny new toy with a better camera and blue tooth enabled... and they even gave him double the minutes for the same price on his Orange contract.

Their "system" does not seem to be applied universally...

[stuartl.livejournal.com]

Ring Orange and ask to speak to their retentions department. Discuss that you've been a customer for aeons and have been told that you have to leave to get similar offers to new contracts. They've always helped me out in the past. I've had free upgrades to expensive phones, free months line rental etc just by telling that that the deals are ludicrous...

[dennyd.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's my plan. Going to ring them as soon as I get this server up and running at work...

heh

[antihope.livejournal.com]

I can't say anything about the phone services there, but I am going to have to watch Princess Bride agian. =)