Return of Son of the TV Licensing Harassment Agency II: This Time They're Confused!

[denny]

"We have warned you previously that your address is scheduled for a visit by one of my Enforcement Officers, however we have still had no reply."

I'm tempted to reply to this one with "Please decide whether you are an individual or an organisation (and correct the pronouns in your extortion letters accordingly) before continuing your campaign of persecution, harassment, and thinly veiled threats against anyone in the country who does not watch television."

Really, these letters should be illegal. The tone is completely unacceptable... if it was a non-governmental company you could probably report them to someone for shoddy business practises. The first thing that springs to mind whenever I read them is "Very flammable looking place this, probably go up like a torch, know what I mean?"

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nicolai_/]

Yes, I completely agree. They give the idea of a TV license a very bad name.

Is there any general-purpose government "you have to be nice to the proles" directive? Most every tentacle of Her Majesty's Government has sprouted a little declaration of how they're going to be excellent tous and give us good service and whatever [1] - if this is supposed to apply to all parts of the government, complain about the TV Licensing attitude.


[1] So in the case of Customs & Excise, does that mean they lube the extra-length rubber gloves now?

[flannelcat.livejournal.com]

I believe that should be "Narwha'imean?"

:P

[quantumlotus.livejournal.com]

TV license? So they make you pay for a license to watch TV, or is it that everyone has to pay for it even if you don't watch? You'll have to excuse my ignorance but i've not been to the UK in over a decade. :-)

[hilarityallen.livejournal.com]

If you own a TV set (or a TV card for your computer, I think), you have to pay a license fee. This is to fund the wondrous organisation that is the BBC. This applies even if you fork out a fortune to get Sky/whatever, and never ever watch the BBC stuff. It's your personal responsibility to pay it (unless you're sharing a house, in which case so long as the address is covered it doesn't matter). However, the problem is that the TV licensing people assume that EVERYONE has a TV. I mean, how could you ever live without one? And therefore if your address doesn't have a TV license registered there, they hound you to the ends of the earth. It's a complete pain. They are meant to ignore you if you write to them saying you don't own a TV, but it's really quite hard to prove the absence of something.

If you just own a TV so you can watch videos/DVDs/game on it, then you don't have to have a license. But you do have to solder over the bit where the relavent plug goes in, so you can't possibly watch TV even if you try.

[lzz.livejournal.com]

That's not strictly true about shared houses. If the rooms are on separate leases (which I think the TV people tend to identify by whether they have locks on) then a license is required for each individual TV.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

If you own a TV, you have to have a license for it. This is because we have TV channels (the BBC terrestrial and digital channels) which don't have advertisements, so are publicly funded by means of the license fee. The fee applies whether you watch the channels or not; all that is required is that you have TV reception equipment in working order in your house.

Unfortunately they have no way of actually telling who does and doesn't have a working TV, so make the assumption that everyone does, until they've actually come round and checked to prove otherwise. Checking is expensive in terms of manhours, so they send a series of progressively more threatening letters in the hope that if you do have an unlicensed TV, you'll own up and send them the dough before they have to send a representative to your door.

[deliberateblank.livejournal.com]

...who has no right of entry whatsoever. So you can tell them to fuck off until they can come back with a search warrant. I'm all for the "making it very expensive for them" option.

[djlongfella.livejournal.com]

I saw this on the young ones, it's easy to get out of...when the heavies turn up, just swallow the television...

Er given that you are currently under " stress management " from your accident, I think you should easily be able to send them a " you are affecting my health with your unsubstantiated claims " letter...

You could reply with I don't have a TV and if you require to book an apoinment for me to confirm this to you, then as I am an IT consultant I will charge you for your visit at my regular rate of ( x ) per hour....now that one I like...

Failing that, tell them you are a rock star and threw it out the window a long time ago.

You could also tell them that you are offsetting the license fee against the cost of the chemo therapy caused by the radiation emissions from the cathode ray tube, that are only stimulated when they are broadcasting and therefore, in some part, they are responsible for your need for treatment....

Always put " without prejudice " at the top of each letter, they will instantly think you have sought legal advice...:)

[kaet.livejournal.com]

After writing to these people lots (I forget their name, a private company with an instantly forgettable name, Capitax or somehting) I sent them a letter on-spec in a sympathetic tone saying how I realise how their contract with TV licencing and so, indircetly, HMG, probably invloves a commitment to licence holders to be accurate and curteous and to evaders to be nasty and forceful, and probably very little concerning non-evading non-licence holders, and so how being arbitrarily nasty to people without licences is probably their best strategy of maximising their performance. And so that it was probably best for me to terminate my voluntary correspondence with them, and take up the matter with the relevant select committee, bringing this starategy to their attention, endeavouring to encourage them to vary the terms of future licence renewals, in adding extra clauses of responsibility, or financial penalties, in poor performance toward this group. They've not bothered me since.

[nullstr.livejournal.com]

It took me three letters and 6 phone calls over about 5 months to get the fuckers to leave me alone.

No TV, no method of CONTROL.

Talk about 1984...