"Treat people as they are, and they will remain that way. Treat them as they are already what they can be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming." -- Goethe
"Then cry bitter disappointed tears when they don't reach that potential" -- me.
Most of the partners I really fell hard for, I fell hard for their potential. For hte glimpses of an amazing person you'd see from time to time. Treating them day to day as if they were that person was a recipe for disaster. Some of them have gone on to fulfill much more or all of that potential since I was with them, but I don't think I can take any credit for that. Getting some difficult kicks up the butt did that.
Possibly I've been lucky - I've seen a few partners really grow as people while I've been going out with them, which is really really nice.
Mind you, one of them did fall back spectacularly later on, while we were still together, but that's life - your investment may go down as well as up, blah blah.
I'm all for taking the big risks and hoping for the big wins :)
I've seen one, two if you count my current one. And yeah, it is really excellent. The rest... sometimes yes, but then they flounder and it cycles like that all the time, until after I can't take it any more and I leave, and one of two things happen; they do go on to be more like their potential all the time (which I'm glad of; better late than never, even if I'm not 'reaping the rewards' myself), or they flop straight back to where they were to start with (bah, these are the ones I wish I'd never wasted my time with to start with).
I can't argue with taking the risks though - I always better to say that it's better to regret what you've done than what you haven't. You never know how a person's going to turn out until you try, or indeed, what they'll teach you. It's also the only way to hit the big wins!
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denny
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Date: 2007-06-12 07:07 pm (UTC)Most of the partners I really fell hard for, I fell hard for their potential. For hte glimpses of an amazing person you'd see from time to time. Treating them day to day as if they were that person was a recipe for disaster. Some of them have gone on to fulfill much more or all of that potential since I was with them, but I don't think I can take any credit for that. Getting some difficult kicks up the butt did that.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-12 07:15 pm (UTC)Mind you, one of them did fall back spectacularly later on, while we were still together, but that's life - your investment may go down as well as up, blah blah.
I'm all for taking the big risks and hoping for the big wins :)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-12 07:23 pm (UTC)E.
x
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-12 07:32 pm (UTC)I was thinking of the one who put bricks through my windows :)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-12 07:28 pm (UTC)I can't argue with taking the risks though - I always better to say that it's better to regret what you've done than what you haven't. You never know how a person's going to turn out until you try, or indeed, what they'll teach you. It's also the only way to hit the big wins!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-12 07:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-06-13 06:48 am (UTC)Don't treat me like the mass of insecurities, neurosis and bad habits that I am, but treat me like the deity that I could some-day be