Denny in 'responsible adult' shocker...

Yesterday, I did my civic duty and attempted to overthrow the government. I was locally unsuccessful in my attempt, but my congratulations to those in Cambridge who got what they wanted.

Today, I visited my new local GUM clinic to be prodded and poked in less than entertaining fashions. I can now add my voice to the general consensus of reports that the GUM unit at St Georges is pretty good as these things go... the wait wasn't too bad, although they weren't what I'd call prompt either, considering I went to an appointment-only session rather than a walk-in. Staff were all nice, although I think I may have slightly surprised the doctor with the details of my love life - her eyebrows climbed a noticeable amount when I explained that the only time I'd actually had sex recently, it was with two girls at the same time :-P That and a couple of other things (ooh, I touched a boy once!) *cough* (okay, more than once) earned me the accolade of 'potentially high risk', and a special offer of some hepatitis vaccinations which I duly accepted. *rubs upper arms* One each side, the gits :) Anyway, initial results all clear, I can collect most of the blood test results when I go back for a booster jab in 10 days.

I guess if I spend tomorrow catching up most of my paperwork, I can feel like I'm almost a proper grown-up this week.

IT'S THE WEEKEND!! ...meh.

Feeling very lonely again this evening. I don't really know what to do about it... I could go to Low Down & Dirty just to see a few familiar faces, but I don't think I'd actually enjoy the event very much. Also I'd have to find my way back across London on my own at 1am or whatever, which I find to be a very depressing experience, going by how miserable I felt the last time I did it (when I went to SC on my own). The solitary return journey really re-awakens and reinforces all the feelings I'd be going out to try and calm, so on the whole it doesn't seem like a very good idea at all.

On the flip side, I'm getting to the point where I'm finding myself rather annoyingly pathetic, sitting at home sniffling about how unloved I feel, yet unwilling to venture out and see my friends. I've never really liked telephone calls, I usually don't feel any emotional connection during them, so my only way to stop myself feeling all alone is to go out and see people. Or for them to come and see me of course, but that's never really been a common feature of my life... I seem to mostly associate myself with those who are either too busy or too poor to travel to see someone else.

I suppose to be fair that description covers most of the population most of the time... the little pools of time in which we get to do things that we want to do are quite small, and can easily become booked up months in advance. And nobody ever has enough money :)

I think I shall go to bed with a book. A small stack of them actually. Hopefully some of the new stuff I bought last week will be engaging enough that I'll lose track of reality for a while... and hopefully tomorrow will be better.