Some thoughts
Apr. 3rd, 2003 12:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dennyThese are probably old, but I hadn't seen most of them before and the 2nd one really made me smile...
1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. It ain't the jeans that make your arse look fat.
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government initiative.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a kebab in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
(yoinked from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ninnevianne's journal)
1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. It ain't the jeans that make your arse look fat.
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government initiative.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a kebab in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
(yoinked from
ninnevianne's journal)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-03 03:12 am (UTC)I'm sure that's not always the case. ~grin~
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
~round of applause~
E.
x
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-03 04:04 am (UTC)But artificial stupidity gets there. The lift in the Materials department has artificial stupidity. It works out for itself which place to go will satisfy most people by taking into account the distance to each person's floor and the time ago each floor was selected - then invariably goes to the basement, followed by the floor nobody wants, followed by the top floor where one person who isn't in a hurry gets on and presses G, then the ground floor, then to the top floor again, then the first floor, whereupon everybody who wanted to go to the second and third floors where all the timetabled things happen, gets off and uses the stairs.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-03 11:15 am (UTC)Please, not whilst I'm talking to a customer on the phone!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-03 11:19 am (UTC)Too bloody right! I'll always go for the new experience, and if it's evil, hell, it had to be a stylish experience. Afterall evil without style is just... boring!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-03 11:33 am (UTC)This describes my job so completely I'm adopting it for my .sig...
:>