Hrm...

[denny]

Got to a point where I thought I should mention my poly-ness to the girl I was with at the weekend. I like her, want to get to know her better, so I thought I should throw it in early and see what she thought. Reaction wasn't entirely negative, but it was a long way from positive either - she hadn't heard of the idea before, and said it was "weird" when I tried to explain it. 'Not good weird, not bad weird, just weird'. :-\

I dunno, I suppose this conversation rarely ends with "Wow, what a great idea! Where do I sign?", but it's a bit nerve-wracking wondering if you've just put someone off who might have liked you otherwise.

By the way, I linked this page as a 'quick guide' - does anyone have a better one? I don't think she read it anyway, but...

Meh. *bed*


Update: she sent me a message today (the next day) saying that as she's not planning on getting into a serious relationship any time soon anyway (having just finished one), she guesses it could work out okay for now. She's willing to see how things go, basically. *phew* Thanks for the comments everyone... I was feeling pretty down about the initial reaction.

Comments

[barakta]

http://www.polyamory.org

That FAQ and some of the other stuff is quite good for promoting the idea that in practice poly should include lots of communication and all that.

[harlot-rouge.livejournal.com]

:/

x

[trishpiglet.livejournal.com]

It might take her a while to process and work out what she thinks of you being poly. Maybe, when/if she's ready, she could meet friends of yours who are also poly (but not necessarily people you're intimately involved with) so that she has the opportunity to ask questions or just see examples of how it can work.

Good luck, hon xxxxxx

[bluecassandra.livejournal.com]

http://www.ciphergoth.org/links.html had soem good links but they didnt seem to be working tonight.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_the_pixie_/]

I understand the situation, and its one that I'm probably gonna be facing fairly soon... :/

Your 'linked' page gets the thumbs up here. If you wanna chat drop me a mail, though we should probs keep in contact anyways... ;)

(we have a mutual friend in need atm)

be well mate :)

[bennyabennya.livejournal.com]

*waves leags at you*

WELL DONE!!!

As hard as it may be and as much as you may be wondering if you have done the right thing.......my logic is that if you have a 'kink' in you ethos and it is important for your partner to accept that/be involved in then, it is something that needs to be in the open right from the beginning if you know its there. You are giving her the opportunity to make an informed decission before either of you get too involved and subsiquently hurt if the 2nd party cant accept said 'kink'.

There are certain things that I would go mad without....but as long as I know I CAN have them, they stop being a bother and an issue and become a bit of harmless fun.......they make the quest a little more difficult but I will be happier in the long run.....

I think you have dont the right thing honey-pie.....and it will all come out good in the end.

Just hang on in there!

[yellowraver.livejournal.com]

It must be tough. If she has never heard of Poly, it might just take her a while to think and research. Perhaps she would like some reassurance that in the initial stages of the relationship you will both be with each other and communicating how you feel openly to ease her fears?

Ultimately, it might not be for her, and that's something you both have to accept - she shouldn't try and change you any more than you her. But with any luck, she might feel it is worth a try :)

Good luck :)

[fayroberts.livejournal.com]

Seconded.