I've had an incredibly strong urge to write something over the last week, probably the strongest such urge I've ever felt in my life. This has been accompanied by a complete lack of the ability to articulate anything when I actually sit down at a keyboard. Interesting combination.
One thing I did think was worth noting down, just because it made me think, was a little poly/jealousy incident that I got confused by on NYE. I went out with a girl I've been seeing quite a bit of lately, as well as a very-long-term female friend and her boyfriend. The female friend I was once involved with, and wouldn't mind being so again, but she's not interested in being more than good friends, so that's that. Anyway, the two girls ended up all over each other (initially in the middle of the TG dancefloor - talk about an impressed audience *grin*), and the next day it looked like a potential relationship was in the making. I was completely surprised to find myself jealous at this point... (a) I don't get jealous much in general, and (b) even less so when the new person is of the opposite gender to myself.
Some thought (not easy considering the state I was in following NYE :-D ) finally revealed the answer... I was jealous not because the girl I was seeing would be seeing someone else, but because someone I know would be seeing the girl that's no longer interested in me.
Okay, that sounds remarkably obvious written down, but it took me a while to figure it out at the time, and I don't think it was just my scrambled body chemistry that had me confused... being jealous of your lover for having someone you can't have is a new one on me.
As soon as I traced down what the emotional glitch was, it dissolved in the light of the thoughts that instantly followed: there's no-one I can think of who I'd rather someone I was seeing got involved with, than someone who I've been friends with and loved for years myself. And vice versa, I'm sure my friend would have a lot of fun and maybe more with the girl I'm currently seeing.
After all that, the friend seems to have decided that the whole thing was a one-off, not-to-be-repeated experience anyway ("What happens in TG, stays in TG"?). Oh well, it was an interesting mental workout for me... and damn were they pretty together - I'm glad I got to watch :-P
Note: I've decided to make this post public, which means I've left the names out of it - this has led to some rather unwieldy phrasing, sorry. The problem is further exacerbated by avoiding use of the word 'girlfriend' to refer to the girl I'm seeing, as we both seem to be evading the semantic weight of the term at present - choosing instead to define our relationship as 'people who see each other a lot'.
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