Just a mistake...

Yesterday afternoon my phone rang. This has happened two or three times since Thursday, and each time I've gone through the same huge rush of emotion. I couldn't tell you what emotion, I think it's all of them at once. I don't know whether I'm hoping that it is her, or whether I'm scared that it could be her.

I didn't actually reach the phone in time - I'd left it in my jacket, dropped in the frontroom when I got back from MK, and I was in bed.

When I reached it, the call was from her.

The second rush of emotion was an order of magnitude more powerful than the first. Is she calling to say that she wants me back? Or to cut me down even worse? (Is that even possible? Of course it is.) What does she want? What could she want?

I waited until I could breathe properly and called her back.

She'd called the wrong number.

Just a habit.

Just a mistake.

It's that fucking simple.

And at the end of a heated text message conversation, suddenly I got a simple explanation of what happened:

"I don't want to be taken care of!"

Great. I got dumped for being too fucking nice. For caring.

Fuck
This
Shit