Leave me alone please don't leave me alone

[denny]

Last night I was answering a quiz, and I was absolutely stopped dead at the first question - I couldn't choose which was the more accurate of two ansers:

Q. What do you enjoy the most?
1. Being alone.
2. Being with friends. Anywhere, doing whatever; it doesn't matter - being alone terrifies me..

Now there's a slight problem there, you can probably spot it.

I feel the same tonight. I'm painfully lonely. But if anyone was here, I'd want to hide at the opposite corner of the house from them.

How are you supposed to drag your head back into line when it does this sort of thing? Because I'm actually getting pissed off with it now.

Comments

[griffen.livejournal.com]

Part of it has to be that "being alone" and "being lonely" are not the same thing. When you are lonely (needing companionship) but you also need to be alone (not having other people around) it gets difficult.

Perhaps being in a chat room would be a good compromise? You could satisfy the loneliness and yet still be alone. ?

In the meantime, I'm leaving hugs here for when you feel up to taking them, if and when. *smiles*

[dennyd.livejournal.com]

Perhaps being in a chat room would be a good compromise? You could satisfy the loneliness and yet still be alone. ?

I guess that's kind of how I'm using LJ. Even a chat room feels too intrusive. LJ has enough distance for me to be able to cope with it, but still some vague feel of 'people' about it.

There are plenty of things I should probably use the time alone to get on with... paperwork screams for attention, and housework mutters sullenly. Other things too. I just, don't have the energy/enthusiasm for anything.

[aiwendel.livejournal.com]

hmmm know the feeling well.
generally with the right people i stop cowering and come out...
but generally i'll hide away and not go out or invite them in.

I guess accepting that be alone is fine, and doing stuff/read/listen to/make music/ watch tele/ surf net/ chat on line when you feel like it and not beat yourself up about feeling like hiding.... easier said than done...
and i guess knowing other people have been there too might help?

I don't know. Am still struggling to get my own brain in line, but it does seem best behaved when i'm not fighting it.

*hugs* if you wish for them.

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